Do you ever feel like you are speaking an entirely different language than the one that your students are? Have you ever said one thing and have your students do something completely different? Of course you have! You are a teacher! Check out the list of what I say versus what my students hear that I have been collecting throughout the school year. Let me know in the comments below what you could add to this list!
#1. What I Say…
“Take out your (ELA, Math, Science, etc) notebook and open it to page 49.”
What My Students Hear…
“Please ask me 45 times which notebook you need to take out and then ask another 20 times what page we need to open it up to.”
#2. What I Say…
“Please don’t tip your chair backwards. It is dangerous.”
What My Students Hear…
“Please tip your chair backwards. It’s not dangerous and it’s a lot of fun to balance on 2 legs!”
#3. What I Say…
“Please line up quietly so that we can go to (recess, the library, the computer lab, etc).
What My Students Hear…
“Make sure to run as fast as you can, bump into all your classmates, and butt yourself into the place that your friend has saved for you.”
#4. What I Say…
“The first thing you do is put your name on your paper.”
What My Students Hear…
“I love to play Guess Who! Be a part of the game by NOT writing your name on your paper!”
#5. What I Say…
“Take out your glue sticks and scissors.”
What My Students Hear…
“Weeeee! Swing your scissors around your fingers and make sure to twist your glue sticks all the way up to the top!”
#6. What I Say…
“It’s time to clean up our desks.”
What My Students Hear…
“Make sure NOT to throw anything not related to our classwork in the garbage. Stack them up neatly in a large pile inside your desk. Oh, and those extra Tupperware containers, spoons, and forks… you might just need them one day, so keep them in there, too!”
#7. What I Say…
“Please don’t interrupt me when I am talking.”
What My Students Hear…
“If I am talking, please make sure that you repeat my name over and over again, pull on my clothes, and poke me until I stop what I am doing and focus my entire attention on you.”
#8. What I Say…
“Okay, everyone! Time’s up!”
What My Students Hear…
“Make sure to let me know that you are not finished by making sounds of despair, and then by making a mad dash to finish the last 15 questions you didn’t have time to finish during the 60 minute time period you were given to complete the assignment.”
#9. What I Say…
“You will need to use your colouring crayons, pencil crayons, or makers for this activity.”
What My Students Hear…
“For this assignment, please walk around the classroom and ask all your friends for the exact shade of sunshine yellow you need for the sun you are colouring. Make sure to take the most indirect path from your desk to your friend’s desk.”
#10. What I Say…
“You are awesome! You are wonderful! I am so happy to see you! Have a great weekend! See you on Monday! You totally rocked that! You did a fantastic job! You are amazing!”
What My Students Hear…
“My teacher loves me!”
Have a great day!
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