2021. A brand new year. Out of the 45 New Year’s I have been a part of on Earth, this one is the most significant for me. Thank goodness we have closed the chapter on the disaster that was 2020 and can look forward to a better and brighter 2021.
As much as I would love to do a blog post that the pandemic has been all rainbows and butterflies…about how it brought my family and I closer together and all the other toxic positivity that you see floating all over social media at the moment, I am about to be brutally honest. This year SUCKED for me and for many people in my family and social circle. Yes, there are many things I should be (and am) grateful for, but this year really knocked me on my butt. And you know what, there is no shame in saying that (unlike those “positivity” posts on social media that *try* to make me feel crappy about my personal feelings on the matter).
This past year, I witnessed my eldest daughter lose her dream job. I witnessed depression take a hold of her body and whittle it down to a dangerously thin shell of her former self. I continue to watch her try to come to grips with her *new* reality, knowing there is nothing in the world that I can do to help her — other than provide her with a place to live and a shoulder to cry on until the aviation industry gets back on its feet.
This past year, I witnessed my two younger children miss out on their sports of their choice. My middle child was so proud to be on the Équipe du Québec for a second year in a row and couldn’t wait to compete in the National Synchronized Skating Championships taking place in Sherbrooke this spring. She was so happy that her extended family would be there cheering her on in the stands. My son has been unable to play hockey. Even though he is more of a recreational hockey player than a competitive one, he misses the camaraderie of his teammates and the time he gets to spend on the ice with his father, who is the volunteer coach of his team.
This past year, I witnessed the effect that virtual schooling has on myself and my children. Nothing compares to the effects that social and physical interaction has upon us as educators and students. Virtual school is not fun, not engaging, and ineffective. My children and I would much rather be in school from 9:00 am until 4:00 pm everyday instead of sporadically in Zoom meetings throughout the day.
This past year, I witnessed illness strike people I love and care about. My mother was diagnosed with bowel cancer and had part of her intestine removed. My sister was diagnosed with breast cancer and had a mastectomy. The excruciating part was the fact that I was not allowed to be with them before, during, and after their procedures. My mom and sister live in Prince Edward Island where strict COVID rules have been implemented. People who live outside of the Atlantic Canadian Bubble are not permitted to enter the maritimes without following a strict 14 day quarantine policy. That policy makes it impossible from a timely and financial standpoint to return to PEI to help out my family in their time of need.
This past year, I witnessed loves ones pass away without the comfort of family surrounding them in their final moments. I watched memorial services over Youtube and couldn’t offer a hug to the living members who were grieving the loss of their loved ones.
This past year, I witnessed family and friends struggle through their marriages/ relationships… some coming through together and others deciding to separate from one another. The confinement period, unfortunately, seemed to be a make or break time for many.
I know that spewing my unhappiness towards the monstrosity that was 2020 will be looked down upon as being negative by most… but I look at it as being realistic. Each and every time I see a post on social media about how 2020 was a “blessing in disguise”, I wonder why I feel such hatred towards those posts. The answer is simple, to me anyways… 2020 was hard. It was a disappointment. It was a let down. And yes, it is totally okay to feel that way.
Have a great day!
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